![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
theobserver713 @ : I Don't Need Mistletoe to Feel Magic
The ground glistens, snow-strewn from the first Nor'easter of the season. If I could brave the frigid fingers of the morning, I would expect to see, in its reflective surface, past versions of me. I can't recall how long ago it has been since I built ice castles out of dreams or believed in some version of a North Pole. But whether 21 or 5 years old, I have never lost the wonderment of the Christmas season.
I am waiting for Brittany, my older sister, who is now 24 years old. She's finishing her third semester as a film graduate student at Emerson College. I'm drawing pictures in the condensation of window panes, blank faces in pastrol scenes all while anticipating headlights coming up our driveway. She's back in the city, standing by the stove cooking dinner alongside her boyfriend or grading papers and all I wish that she would do is call. A sisterly companion for me to enjoy the reverie of a season of family and magic is needed at this instant. But lucky for me, I have my mother to latch onto in the meantime.
We arrange Christmas desserts or settle on the sofa watching the glow of the Christmas lights that my father has arranged along the branches of our tree. I lean in and rest my head on the shoulder of the petite woman who has not only raised me but who is also one of my best friends. After being away at UMass Amherst for weeks at a time, I am overcome with the warmth of emotion that I feel in being back among love. I may not be so sure of what is best for me, but I do know that I could never be far from my family. They are the ones who are always there for me and the few people who I know that will always love me. I cannot do without this sense of security.
I recognize that 2009 is coming to a close and with it came the beginnings of an adulthood. But I am not quite there- I am much more a child. I need nights dressed in pajamas, dancing around with Brittany followed by conversations about boys and our hopes and dreams. I need to knead bread and bake gingerbread by my mother's side. I need long heart-to-heart conversations with my father in epic car rides.
No one and nothing in my future is clear and concrete. The snow may glisten outside and if I peered down I know that I'd see the more recent version of me. However, what never changes in my demeanor is the love in my eyes that I have for these special people.
I am waiting for Brittany, my older sister, who is now 24 years old. She's finishing her third semester as a film graduate student at Emerson College. I'm drawing pictures in the condensation of window panes, blank faces in pastrol scenes all while anticipating headlights coming up our driveway. She's back in the city, standing by the stove cooking dinner alongside her boyfriend or grading papers and all I wish that she would do is call. A sisterly companion for me to enjoy the reverie of a season of family and magic is needed at this instant. But lucky for me, I have my mother to latch onto in the meantime.
We arrange Christmas desserts or settle on the sofa watching the glow of the Christmas lights that my father has arranged along the branches of our tree. I lean in and rest my head on the shoulder of the petite woman who has not only raised me but who is also one of my best friends. After being away at UMass Amherst for weeks at a time, I am overcome with the warmth of emotion that I feel in being back among love. I may not be so sure of what is best for me, but I do know that I could never be far from my family. They are the ones who are always there for me and the few people who I know that will always love me. I cannot do without this sense of security.
I recognize that 2009 is coming to a close and with it came the beginnings of an adulthood. But I am not quite there- I am much more a child. I need nights dressed in pajamas, dancing around with Brittany followed by conversations about boys and our hopes and dreams. I need to knead bread and bake gingerbread by my mother's side. I need long heart-to-heart conversations with my father in epic car rides.
No one and nothing in my future is clear and concrete. The snow may glisten outside and if I peered down I know that I'd see the more recent version of me. However, what never changes in my demeanor is the love in my eyes that I have for these special people.
Current Music: We Are Scientists - The Scene is Dead